And you thought your employees were working

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You have to love the cartoon Dilbert. After all, cartoonist Scott Adams must have a nearly endless list of crazy things employees do instead of actually working, like Dilbert regulating his moods in the office with an “external brain stimulator.”

The fact is that nearly every employee finds ways to do some things other than work. There’s no such thing as 100% productivity, is there? Even the busiest workers will admit they watch a funny pet video every now and then.

We’ve collected tales of some of the funniest things employees do to avoid working. And we hate to say it, but there are no shortage of apps, screen savers and Internet sites that promote ways to goof off at work!

One site sells a small $8 rearview mirror to stick on your computer so your boss can’t sneak up on you. How about the app (not kidding) called iNap@work? For just 99 cents, it will play random office noises like keyboard typing or paper shuffling to hide your snoozes while you take 40 winks.

A survey by CareerBuilder, which lists several of these employee goof-offs, says hiring managers rank cell phones and texting as the top productivity killer (no surprise), followed closely by surfing the Internet, gossiping and using social media.

Managers take note. According to surveys by Salary.com, the most common reason for slacking off at work is simply not having “enough work to do.”

So here we go. You have to hand it to these employees. They’re nearly off the charts when it comes to dodging getting work done.

  • Flying drones around the office. (Easy to find YouTube videos of employees doing this.)
  • Watching videos of other employees flying drones around the office.
  • Taking a sponge bath in the office bathroom sink.
  • Searching the Internet for a mail-order bride.
  • Taking a nap on the CEO’s couch. (Really not good when you get caught.)
  • Trying to hypnotize other employees to stop their smoking habit.
  • Playing computer games that look like (yes, you guessed it) a spreadsheet. Did you know there’s even a Twitter client disguised as a spreadsheet? Tweet away while looking like you’re working.
  • One employee printed out pet pictures, named them after employees and hung them around the workplace.
  • Instead of making deliveries, an employee was visiting a tanning bed parlor.
  • Topping out the list is the employee who was caught drinking vodka while watching NetFlix. Ouch. Something tells us he’s probably no longer at that job.

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